Monday 14 March 2011

Getting lost with turtles (and maybe goats and chickens)

I was meant to write about turtles, getting lost and how to train a chicken, interspersed with some ranting about the fluffy undefined overused difference between Carnival parties and Apres Ski Parties. Unfortunately I managed to procrastinate this entry for so long until this moment. I am sitting in this mind-numbing meeting in a closed room with too many people and too little oxygen. I now have the choice of yawning until my eyes close, my head drops forward and I really embarrass myself, or start spewing random nonsense. As I am still the newbie, random nonsense out loud was out, so this unconcious moving of fingers over a keyboard was the next best option.

I accumulated so many great stories that should be shared, or at least kept somewhere for all future generations, But due to the happy anecdote potential happenings coming hard and fast, chasing each other around the corners, the individual story keeping inspiration dissipated together with the happy anecdote potential happenings induced tipsiness (this sentence makes so much more sense when you translate it into german). I guess I will just bullet point the key things:

a)     I keep getting lost in my little village, the last time after swimming, And I was so proud of myself, so proud for finally going swimming again and managing a whole kilometer straight away. And then there was a bus just turning around the corner when I got to the bus stop, and I was so happy, and felt accomplished, and was basking in my luckiness, and promptly got on the wrong bus that drove all the way up the hill. 20 minutes trekking down the hill in the dark then required booze, lots of it, so walked into the first establishment that looked like it would sell alcohol (I have to point out that the choices in the little village I keep getting lost in are limited). The evening was quite bizarre, but I swam, drank and kept being true to myself – Happy Days

b)    Turtles. I like Turtles, or rather tortoises, I would like to own multiple tortoises (if it was not for my travelling and the required terrarium), even more then I want mini pigs. This need resulted in my own designed turtle outfit that I got for Halloween, and that now got another outing during Carnival. My obsession with turtles turned into a lengthy middle of the night walking to the pub and back discussion about the best turtle names in the existence of turtle names. Judge their awesomeness for yourself: Connor Pineapple, Jeffrey Dragonfruit, Daisy Strawberry, Buttercup Mango and Lily Peaches

c)     Carnival: dressing up to random really awful music and crazy drunkenness from colorful drinks out of flasks is so much fun. Apres ski: dancing to random really awful music while drinking weird colorful cocktails out of shot glasses is a lot of fun as well. I enjoy both, the former three predefined days a year, the other during the one predefined week on the slop, but that is where it ends, I cannot cope with more (neither can my liver, my pride or my musical sensibilities). So why do these topic parties have to be repeated all year long out of scope or context. Can people not think out of the box and re-create the same under a different label? Out of some reason I cannot really pinpoint this really bugs me. Not sure why exactly

d)    Now the only key thing to mention that is missing is how to train a chicken. I want it to wear Lederhosen and gawk the wedding song (you know the one where the bride enters the church – here comes the bride???). My friend's future husband claims he can hypnotize a chicken, so I want to present them with a trained chicken as that would be such a cooler skill to have, I wonder if one can buy DIY books about training animals, and if those apply to chickens. mmmmh

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